Getting Over Parenting Panic!

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." - Dr. Spock

When I discovered I was pregnant with my first child one of the first shopping trips was to the book store. So many books to choose from, I grabbed 3 or 4 and made sure What to Expect when You're Expecting was in the pile! I even bought one for my husband about becoming a dad. We settled in and began to read. I felt like the more I read the less I knew. These books made me feel like I was completely unprepared for this adventure. I didn't eat right, exercise correctly, heck I didn't even sleep on the proper side of my body!

PANIC!

My ObGyn tried to calm me down, and tell me I was fine and on the right track. Oh but the books, the books said otherwise! And then I discovered web sites and magazines...I was even dumber than I thought! The worst was the discovery of the medical reality shows about women giving birth, I had no idea so much could go wrong!

My mother and mother in law tried to calm me down by pointing out how they never had to worry about half the stuff the media was shoving at me. What did they know...my generation is just lucky to be alive!

I do remember the day (actually night) that the dependence on the books began to fall away. My little boy, arriving several weeks early but healthy, was finally home. He did not like his bassinet, he cried and cried. Every time I put him down he cried. My husband kept telling me that a friend of his had said his baby would only sleep in the car seat carrier. How absurd! The books said nothing about that! What does your drinking buddy know that my precious books can't tell me! Another sleepless night went by, and another. OK I'll try it, I conceded...but I'm calling the doctor in the morning to make sure its safe! It worked!

As time went by I threw those books out and depended more and more on my instincts. I can't tell you how many friends of mine feel like they don't have those instincts. That they could never throw out their books. As my kids are now 8 and 6 (and the 8 year old no longer sleeps in the car seat- FYI!) I still need to take a minute and rely on my instincts from time to time. It doesn't make me the most popular Mom all the time, but it does keep me happy with my family and my parenting decisions!

I was inspired to write this today by this awesome article in the Washington Post! Check it out!

Mom's That Rock the Business World!

Inc.com highlighted 5 Moms Who Built Great Companies and Barefoot's own Nancy Traversy is on the list! We've known she's great for a very long time. Read about Nancy and the other 4 wonderful business women.

Books that Help Me LOVE Being a Mom!

It's no secret I love reading, for myself and to my children! When asked what is my favorite chilldren's book, it's hard to answer because I have different favorites for different occasions. Today, Mother's Day in the US, has it's own list of favorites. Most of these books give me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Some because they remind me of my children, some because they remind me of my Mom!

Mars Needs Moms!
Berkley Breathed of Opus and Bloom County fame penned this beautiful and funny story. A boy and his mother don't always understand each other but in the end, they show how much the love each other!

Motherbridge of Love
This beautiful poem celebrates the bond between parent and child in a special way. Through the exchanges between a little Chinese girl and her mother, Motherbridge of Love offers a poignant and inspiring message to parents and children all over the world.

Mama, Do You Love Me?
This modern classic by author Barbara Josse illustrates just how far a mothers love can go despite the attempts of an imaginative girl to find it's limits. Also by Barbara Josse, I Love You the Purplest, is great for families with siblings asking the dreaded "Who do you love best?"

Come Along, Daisy!
I discovered this book just as my oldest child was about 3 and prone to wandering off or become distracted with something interesting while I was trying to get someplace! Jane Simmons shows her knowledge of kids and parents with this story!


The Tear Thief
Each night, in the hours between supper and bedtime, the Tear Thief carries her waterproof, silvery sack as she steals the tears of every child who cries. But what does she do with all those tears? This warm, poignant, and beautifully illustrated story offers a thought-provoking message and a starting point to share children's emotional experiences.



You and Me
The imaginary games of a boy and a girl form the basis of this enchanting picture book about opposites and contrasts. As the two children play together, they picture themselves as all kinds of characters, animals, landscapes and moods. "I'm a circle, you're a square; I'm a tiger, you're a bear." Celebrating difference, but above all celebrating relationship, You and Me is a very special picture book that will captivate pre-school audiences but is also sure to attract plenty of adult fans.

Close Your Eyes
The wonderful poetry by Jean Marzollo in this book has the rhythm and rhyme to put anyone asleep, and has lulled our children to bed many times. But I am also in love with the illustrations of one of my very favorite artists, Susan Jeffers! The pictures tell a parallel story of a parent struggling to get their child to bed and the peace that comes at last as they sleep!

Story time is a special time in our house every night! Even though my kids are getting bigger and their interests are changing, I hope this particular ritual holds on for a little while more.

Simple Gifts

Have I been a little introspective lately? Yeah a bit. It's hard not to look around and sigh at all the changes happening to this family. Then something cool happens, like my first clematis bloomed! Hooray!

For weeks I have found myself humming the tune to Simple Gifts, an old Shaker song. We often sing it at church and of course it has found renewed fame as being a major theme in the John Williams Composition Air and Simple Gifts performed at the inauguration of President Obama.

Although this was written in 1797, the lyrics give me quite a bit of comfort. I hope you like them, too!

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come out right.

PURGE!

While we have no idea where our heads will rest once we leave this house, we know that we WILL be leaving this house and moving to a new one by the end of the month. Moving everything that has accumulated in the past 5 years is a daunting task and so I am using this opportunity to PURGE!
As we pack, pull books off of shelves, clean out closets and cabinets and drawers we are sorting things out and making some tough decisions! Items are being sorted into three categories: Keep/Move, Toss, Sell/Donate.

Keep/Move: Obviously the largest section, I try to go through this pile a couple extra times to make sure I really want the stuff in there! There are definitely things that are forever needed...kitchen items, towels, clothing, photographs, and of course favorite loveys, blankies and toys! There are days when I wish could dump everything and start over from scratch, but that is not exactly practical.

Toss: The trash men are starting to HATE me. I have piled up bags and boxes of old magazines, incomplete puzzles, broken toys, and stale herbs and spices! It's important to make sure trash is bagged, some people will disagree about what should be sent off to the landfill! Usually well behaved husbands and children will begin picking through the trash if they suspect their favorite rock, slip of paper, or torn, stained t-shirt is in there!

Sell/Donate: Another dangerous category if you live with pack rats. I have taken the precaution of shipping my children off to Grandma's house the night before our upcoming yard sale. I learned my lesson at the last yard sale when the children had an absolute fit as an innocent stranger walked away with two wooden flutes that I was so happy to see go! So what is ready to be tagged this time? Books, toys, a recliner, a mini fridge, toy box, CDs, DVDs and a whole lot more. But shhhhh don't tell my family! At the end of the sale all left overs will be donated to local charities.

I have to admit, the process feel really good. Throughout this really exhausting and depressing event in our lives it's nice to lighten the load a bit.